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Aug 19 '14
Fuck you Snapple I coulda read that shit in a Zoobook
Jul 26 '14
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
Jul 16 '14
colby’s first cigarette
God we are cool fucking dudes
Jul 16 '14
Marry Me (at Ed Sullivan Theater)
Jul 10 '14
Jul 8 '14
Jul 7 '14
It’s five o’clock somewhere amirite #Mondays (at Outback Steakhouse - New York - 6th Ave/Chelsea)
Jul 5 '14
when someone at my 4th of july barbeque tries to stop me from fitting another firecracker into my ass
Jul 4 '14
Special Independence Day Message
Ever since the Fourth of July was moved up from the Third, when it used to be, things have been pretty good for all of those who celebrate it. The civil war was a tough time for all americans, but this day is as good as any other to reflect upon our meaning and purpose in this lifetime. We can…
Jul 3 '14
This was left on my desk this morning and I don’t know if I had left my computer on or this is just regarding my continued existence